As someone who has battled chronic stress and anxiety, ‘You’re the calmest bride we’ve ever seen’ was not the image I had thought I would project the morning of my wedding. Neither would I have predicted I would feel calm, but I did - even after my bridesmaids’ taxi failed to arrive. My day started with an unplanned drive; pyjamas on, maid of honour by my side. A mild adrenaline rush, coupled with continuous laughter next to two of my best friends. The perfect start to the best day of my life.
We set up make shift beauty stations as a slow, drawn out get-ready began. Drawn out because, with the ceremony starting at one thirty, we had given ourselves plenty of time - or so I’d thought. How did midday approach so quickly? Had I eaten enough? Who was I kidding, three bacon sandwiches were more than enough! The variety of smoothies we had pre arranged; in case I wasn’t hungry… had barely been touched. Hair and makeup was drawing to a close. I chose to do my own makeup, a decision I’m glad I’d stuck to. I nearly talked myself into coercing the makeup artists attending to my bridesmaids into doing mine too. But the truth is, I wanted to feel like myself, I’ve always loved skincare and makeup so my fear of not resembling a better version of myself won out.
Time got the better of us, it was 12 o’clock and none of us were dressed. There was no time for questions to flood my mind. How was Danny feeling? Was he nervous at all? The beauty of a modern wedding is you make your own rules. We had decided not to speak after we’d said our farewells the night before. When planning our wedding we’d kept the traditions we liked and shunned the ones that didn’t resonate with us. Our engagement lasted under a year, even though it had taken me a couple of months to decide what kind of day I wanted. My suggested wedding plans had varied from a three-day festivity to a spontaneous elopement. I admit I have never been the most decisive of beings. I was lucky that Danny had been hands-on with wedding plans, it was a labour of love we worked on together. He is the yin to my yang. I am the dreamer and he is the doer.
I hugged my mum goodbye and waved my bridal party off. I sat next to my dad and we drove for ten minutes before stopping. Not far from La Hougue Bie, our ceremony location. The butterflies I had been waiting for arrived. This was it. This was the moment Danny would see me, and I would see him. The moment I would marry the love of my life. The moment I would marry the love of my life beneath a canopy of greenery, with the sun shining, in front of 30 of our closest friends and family. I took a deep breath, I was ready. My dad turned to me, “let’s rock ‘n’ roll”.